Heartbeat

Heartbeat is fading.

Almost non existent

As my soul is nearly depleted.

No expectations of humanity,

And devoid of all care.

What to do in a world of uncertainty?

What to do when the love is gone?

Feels like I’m drowning,

And I can’t come up for air.

My feelings are my own.

No longer buried deep inside.

Bitterness has festered,

Anger has taken over.

I feel numb.

Will my heartbeat live again?

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Will I ever believe in Hope again?

 

I Learned To Dance So Well In The Rain

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

And dance I did.

As my 46th bornday approaches on April 4th, I’ve been reflecting on my life’s journey. I’ve come a long way from being that eight year old kid who held back tears, swallowed her pain from abuse, and declared that I would grow up to be better than the examples that I was being shown at home.

I’ll always have a vivid memory of the Saturday that my father almost ended his life and mine. Even after he hurt me to my core on this day, I put hurt and fear aside. I wanted to live. I had the courage and the strength to survive.

In all of the heartache that I’ve been through, I’ve always pushed forward. And here I am today. I’m proud that I made the decision at age eight to live. I didn’t know what my life would be like as an adult, but I had dreams of a better life full of love. I can look in the mirror and smile, because some dreams do come true. I made it. Hearts can be emotionally battered and can bend. But, hearts can also feel love again. Hearts can also mend.

I’m gratefuI learned to dance so well in the rain.

Love Believes In Me

When darkness burries the sun,

And the world is heavy upon soft shoulders,

Heavy is the load that is carried,

And despair is the emotion that is felt.

One can become blinded by the unknown,

And stricken down by fear.

Possibilities remain at a distance,

As if these are merely thoughts in the wind.

Unclarity has sunken in.

Then along comes the sun.

Love.

Love loves me.

Love believes in me.

Love’s light adorns me.

I hear Love’s voice, and I can see once again.

Love never let’s me suffer,

And Love never let’s me fail.

In my hour of sorrow, it’s Love’s faith, Love’s love, that prevails.

Faith is restored,

And one is guided by your light.

Onward to a righteous path,

I will know no wrong,

Because the Love you possess is oh, so right.

Never Imagined I’d See Yesterday Through Tomorrow’s Eyes

Photo Credit: myquietfire.com NYC

Never imagined I’d see yesterday through tomorrow’s eyes.

Hope now blinded once again by the truth,

Of an uncertainty in life that is all too real.

Living in a world full of broken hearts, promises, and paths.

Where is my sunshine and rainbow?

Where is my shovel to dig myself out of this hell of despair and fear?

Where is the train to Anyplace other than here?

Never Surrender Your Dreams

The time has come for me to write my last post of 2016. As always, I want to say, “Thank you” to everyone who has visited my site, liked a post, or left a comment. As with any approaching new year, and now, a new presidency, life is full of uncertainty. On the flip side of this, life can also be full of possibilities. I want 2017 to be a year of possibilities, opportunities, and growth. May all of you make the very best of your 2017 and beyond.
There’s uncertain travels on the long road to somewhere.
Twists and turns on a questionable road.
Unpaved paths to new unknowns,
That make you put guarded faith on the line.
Uncertainty and doubt are heavy loads to bear,
And these elements eat away at one’s core.
Too far forward, so there’s no turning back now,
But for a moment in time, one’s feet are frozen still.
More road to travel, but the frightened heart wants to say it’s the end.
What if?
What happens at the end of the road?
When the hope dies out,
And positive vibes become non existent?
A stagnant existence is born that kills each breath taken,
And causes one to fade.
One will never know the possibilities.
What if?
What happens on the road still taken?
When you muster the strength to drop the load of uncertainty and doubt.
The body is now light.
Fluid movements allow you to just be.
Free.
And one can now see with clear eyes.
There’s something about being free,
That causes the body to press on.
Keep moving. Keep striving. Keep searching.
There’s a chance you’ll see what your heart is searching for.
Take that chance.
Never surrender your dreams.

What Do You Do?

What do you do when your heart dries out?

When there’s no blood left to shed?

When the beauty of bodies float away like dust?

When all you can feel is despair?

So many days and nights have my heart cried out,

To hollow ears who hear me not.

Hollow ears don’t hear my screams in the night.

Hollow ears know not my soul’s twists and turns.

And blind eyes don’t see my bloodshed,

When murderous hands perform the devil’s deeds.

So, what do you do when your heart cries out?

When there’s no one who seems to care?

Sincere Thank You

It’s nearing the end of 2014. Another year has come and gone. The time has come for me to say my “Thank You” to everyone. I truly appreciate you taking the time to visit my site, liking my posts, and leaving comments for me. I don’t consider myself a poet, but poetry has been a way of expressing my thoughts and coping with my emotions since I was a teenager.

2014 has been an emotional roller coaster for me and others around the world. I have certainly shed my share of tears out of both fear and sorrow. It may be my naive thinking, but as bleek as our “justice” system is here in the U.S., I still believe that one day we will have a such thing as a fair and just legal system, and we will all be free. I still have hope and stars in my eyes. If this is only a dream, then let me dream it to be able to carry on. Only time will tell if true justice will ever be seen.

While waiting for justice to show it’s face, in the meantime, my heart is weary and I’m tired. But still, I must move forward with my head held high.

In spite of the world’s cruelty and troubles, may 2015 be a productive and successful year for you all.