Tag Archives: Feelings

Never Imagined I’d See Yesterday Through Tomorrow’s Eyes

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Photo Credit: myquietfire.com NYC

Never imagined I’d see yesterday through tomorrow’s eyes.

Hope now blinded once again by the truth,

Of an uncertainty in life that is all too real.

Living in a world full of broken hearts, promises, and paths.

Where is my sunshine and rainbow?

Where is my shovel to dig myself out of this hell of despair and fear?

Where is the train to Anyplace other than here?

Going Insane When The World Is Too Much

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Social media and going live on it gives some people the nerve to cowardly disregard the value of life. I’m sick to my stomach at the fact that someone’s murder is something that’s just tossed around on social media without a care. As if someone’s life is nothing. I’m disgusted with this, as well as the murderer. There’s no respect at all. Not for the living nor the dead. The victim’s name was Robert Godwin, Sr. and his life was valuable to his loved ones. His life was valuable and it was taken away on Resurrection Sunday. My heartfelt condolences go out to Robert Godwin, Sr.’s loved ones. These are my feelings on a Monday afternoon: going insane when the world is too much.
An execution was broadcast for all to see,
As if his being means nothing.
As if his life is just a sideshow in a country in chaotic disarray.
I’m angry with disgust,
As humanity is anything but humane
With its habit of devaluing life.
To BE or not to BE.
With all of the world’s problems laying heavy on my mind,
I rest my head in my hands
And I ask the universe, “Why?”
What do you do when the rain can’t wash away your tears?
Where do you go where your silent cries can be listened to?
Saying, “Fuck it” is what I can’t refrain,
And I don’t know what the fuck to do to keep from going insane.

What Do You Do?

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What do you do when your heart dries out?

When there’s no blood left to shed?

When the beauty of bodies float away like dust?

When all you can feel is despair?

So many days and nights have my heart cried out,

To hollow ears who hear me not.

Hollow ears don’t hear my screams in the night.

Hollow ears know not my soul’s twists and turns.

And blind eyes don’t see my bloodshed,

When murderous hands perform the devil’s deeds.

So, what do you do when your heart cries out?

When there’s no one who seems to care?

My Heaven Is My Happiness

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My heaven is my happiness.
A sacred place I’ve searched for all of my life.
A freedom I can’t really describe,
But a freedom I’m grateful to have.
My heart and shoulders feel light at times,
As if I’ve been reborn.
I can see the world with new eyes,
And experience what life has to offer with open arms.
And then heaven’s eyes stop watching over me.
Just as my heart feels light sometimes,
At times my heart feels heavy.
It weeps as it’s full of sorrow.
Just as my shoulders feel light at times,
Sometimes I feel that the load is too much to bear.
Sometimes I feel trapped.
I feel stuck.
Feels like my time could be up.
Feeling faint as more beautiful bodies lie cold in the dust.
My heaven is my happiness.
But when will I ever leave hell?
You tell me.
And tell me the truth.

When Beautiful Black Turns To Blue

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My Feelings: When will you see me? See us? I can’t stop crying. No matter how righteous I live. No matter how educated I am. No matter how eloquent I speak. No matter how well dressed I am. I can go on and on about how well this, and how well that. Respectability means nothing, and I very well know it. Respectability will never save me from a bullet, and I know it. Nor will it ever shield me from the cruelty of white supremacy. No matter how much of a good human being I am, I’ll always be seen to some folk as an animal. A savage. A gang member. Uneducated. Sub human. A thing to be murdered, and tossed away like garbage, as if my life is worthless. When folk see the color of my skin, they don’t see me. They don’t see us. They see only what they’ve been taught to see and know. It’s America as I’ve grown to understand it. Sad. And I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting against a system that insists on fighting against me.

My heart weeps of sorrow,

In the darkest hour of the night.

Tears are shed inside,

Deep within my soul.

Yet, my tears can be seen and felt.

The weight of an unjust world

Has taken its toll.

It rests upon my shoulders,

And the load is much too heavy.

I’m tired,

As my weakened heart barely beats.

My heartache is too much to stand.

America has been killing me consistently.

A slow death it has been.

No knife to the heart.

No bullet to the dome.

Injustice will be my demise.

Won’t even have time to bid thee farewell.

Another black body blows in the dust.

It’s a sad song about us.

It’s about me.

It’s about you.

It’s what happens when black changes it’s hue.

It’s what happens when beautiful black turns to blue.

Vivid

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A vivid image I see
when I close my eyes.
A wild imagination
that allows desires to live freely.
I see us in a strong embrace,
as we let time suspend until forever.
The warmth of your body
electrifies my soul.
A simple touch
ignites feelings unknown to the mind.
Voice as smooth as silk,
it carries me beyond the clouds,
and makes me believe I’ve reached the gates of Heaven.
Eyes as beautiful as the sun,
they draw me closer to you.
And then I awake.
I still feel this surreal reality from deep within,
and the memories engrained will forever linger on.